1. Be yourself
Surprise! You’ve already got this one down so you can cross this off the list straight away. As Oscar Wilde said, “be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” Be proud of who you are, don’t go pretending to be someone you’re not. If the person you’re on a date with says something you don’t agree with, that’s ok! You don’t need to pretend to agree if you don’t. Be yourself, be confident in yourself and you’re much more likely to attract people that are a match and you’ll stop wasting time with people who just don’t get you.
That being said, just because someone has varying opinions from you doesn’t mean they’re not the one. A date is all about communication, find out about this other person and ask them questions about why they like what they like or think what they think… they might just surprise you or change your mind, and you might even enjoy the conversation so much you arrange a second date.
2. Find new people
This tip is essential – if you don’t meet people how can you start dating? This can be a very scary challenge for many people, but it really doesn’t have to push you that far out of your comfort zone. It would be a mistake to push yourself into a new hobby you hate just because you’ll meet new people: those aren’t the sort of people you’ll want to date anyway. Try expanding your circle of acquaintances by going to events and places you really enjoy to meet people you have things in common with.
If all else fails, maybe try looking closer to home. Your friends are the people that know you best, they probably get along with your family, they know all your embarrassing secrets and they’ve always been there for you. Could that bloom into romance? It’s best to just come straight out and ask them (joking around the subject can be infuriating if they don’t catch on) because if they’re a true friend they’ll either give dating a shot or not let it get in the way of your friendship.
3. Find new people online too
Meeting people online is very popular and has led to many successful dates and relationships in the real world. You can find dating sites that have members from all over the states, or maybe focus on more local dating sites where you can meet locals. You’d be mistaken in thinking that to be successful at online dating sites you need to spend all your time in front of a computer screen – many dating websites have great apps that you can use on the go, like Hitwe.
Hitwe is a new dating app that’s taking the world by storm! Not only is it full of great people to meet and talk to for free, but it’s map feature means you can find compatible people who are really close to you while you’re out each day. If conventional dating websites haven’t been a success for you in the past, this could be your solution.
4. Don’t just stick to bars and restaurants
Being sat face to face with someone can be incredibly awkward, add the pressure of eating a meal, shouting over other diners and a bit too much alcohol it’s no wonder first dates so often go wrong! Skip restaurants and bars if you can, do something fun that you’ll both enjoy and feel comfortable doing, visit an art gallery, go paintballing, ice skating or some other activity that gives you plenty to talk about and have a laugh. This will weed out any people who don’t enjoy the same hobbies as you before you even start dating and you’ll get to see what your date is really like rather than just listening to the speech they’ve rehearsed every night this week.
If sitting face to face with strangers doesn’t bother you but you can’t stand long meals and awkward silences, you could try speed dating. Just don’t forget that you still need to listen to what the dates are saying, not just focus on saying as much as you can about yourself in 60 seconds!
5. Be honest…
Getting stuck in a web of lies on the first date is a recipe for disaster. Unless you plan to keep a note of everything you say so you keep up appearances on further dates, you’re likely to slip up. It’s just not a good idea. No successful relationship was ever built on lies. Even white lies can come back to bite you if your date doesn’t think they’re so innocent.
Never ever try and tell your date what you think they want to hear; not only are these horrible lies to tell, but if you get it wrong you can completely ruin any chance of future dates with this person. So when they ask what you think of a film they love, tell the truth, stick to your opinions and let them know who you are upfront. Just make sure you do it in a friendly, positive way.
6. …But be appropriate!
Not lying on dates and being honest doesn’t mean you have to be brutally honest. Being kind and considerate is important on the first date, despite what some people will advise, being cold and treating them mean really won’t do you any favours. Show your fun side, have a laugh but maybe save the harsh or offensive jokes until you know your date’s sense of humour a bit better.
If your date pushes you into a corner with a difficult question like “do I look fat in this?” you’ll need to come up with an answer that’s neither a lie or a harsh put down. No one said dating would be easy!
Avoid over sharing information too. Take a bite to eat or sip of your drink to consider what you’re going to say next, don’t just let your thoughts come straight out if you’re prone to word vomit! You can’t take back a bad first impression.
7. Be careful asking friends for their opinion.
Opinions are powerful, when someone you respect and trust has a poor opinion of someone it’s all too easy to take on that opinion yourself. This happens with dates too, especially when your friends set you up with some people and avoid others. At the end of the day, it’s your life and your decision. A friend’s opinion can be invaluable, but you don’t want to be taking that on before you’ve had a chance to form an opinion yourself. If they’re a true friend they will give you their opinion but never let your relationship choice destroy your friendship!
8. Don’t string people along
“Stringing people along” is that situation where you’re not sure that you want to keep dating further, but you don’t want to tell them things have to end so you just keep going when there’s no hope.
Stringing people along is just cruel. If you’re honest and open, you and your date should be on the same page. Dating, like love, is complicated; sometimes it’s just not as simple as yes or no when asked if you want to keep dating. Communicate with your date; let them know exactly where you’re at and what you’re waiting for, they might be holding back too.
Stringing people along can cause heartbreak on both sides and leave you with a reputation that makes it hard to get dates in the future.
9. Don’t lose heart!
Not everyone finds their soulmate straight out of high-school, and that is okay. Don’t lose hope, don’t lose heart and don’t give up. Keep going on dates, meeting new people, taking those opportunities and sending those messages. There’s someone out there for everyone. Taking a break from dating is ok, but most people need a partner at some point in life and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. You don’t have to be lonely, no matter your circumstances.
Try a new dating website, ask your friends to set you up on a date, call up people you’ve not seen in years, get out of the house more and just live your life. Love will find you.
10. Don’t make dating your number 1 priority.
Enjoy being single, get to know and respect yourself before you go dating – finding a romantic partner isn’t about fixing each other and not being “complete” without each other.
When you’re confident in yourself and know who you are and what life you want to lead, finding a partner will become easier. People are attracted to your confidence and you’ll know exactly what you’re looking for in a partner.
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